Every now and then I read a book which illuminates something so clearly for me, I can't imagine how I didn't understand it before. It's that moment when all the pieces fall into place, and I slap myself in the forehead and yell, "Of course! I get it now." There have been a few books like that for me (A Return to Love by Marianne Williamson, and Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach are two of them) but this time the book is called Leveraging the Universe by Mike Dooley and in it he provides the missing puzzle piece (for me) to the Law of Attraction.
Now, I've been reading about the Law of Attraction for close to 20 years but have never managed to make any real changes in my life. I've used positive thinking, and written down affirmations, and made gratitude lists, and created vision boards, and practiced feng shui, and none of it ever really made much of a difference. I've been stuck in the same crappy job for 16 years, been living in the same tiny house for 20, and still apparently haven't learned a damn thing about attracting a healthy relationship. Obviously there was something I wasn't getting.
Well, yeah. According to Mike Dooley, the missing ingredient was me. It's all well and good to trust in the Universe to create abundance in our lives, but first we have to make contact, by doing what we can, with what we have, from where we are. We have to engage the magic, start the ball rolling. We have to take a baby step in the direction of our dreams. Then and only then will the Universe move to do its part, and kick in a string of inspiration and synchronicities and right-people-at-the-right-time coinkydinks to keep things flowing along.
When I look back at the last 20 years, I realize I've done almost nothing different, all the while praying for my life to change. Well you know what they say: if you keep doing what you've always done, you'll keep getting what you've always got.
Time to do something different!
About two-and-a-half years ago, I became aware of the Institute for Integrative Nutrition, a New York-based holistic nutrition school. This was right around the time I discovered the primal/paleo movement and got serious about changing the way I eat. I loved the school's approach because they incorporate spiritual nourishment as a vital part of a whole, healthy lifestyle--an approach with which I very much agree. I attended a webinar and pored over their website and knew the school was a perfect fit for me. I knew that being a health coach would be an ideal career for me, combining my passion for healthy living with blogging, teaching and counseling. And then.....I did nothing.
All the doubts and fears started creeping in: "It's too expensive." "What if I can't get any clients?" "There's no market for that kind of thing here." And so and so forth. I defaulted to the same script that's been running in my head my whole life: "I can't ______ because ______"
Ely was all for it. He encouraged me to enroll and offered to take money out of his 401k to pay for the tuition. But I had already managed to talk myself out of it. Besides I was afraid to borrow from his 401k. Afraid, afraid, afraid. Looking back, I can see so clearly how fear has ruled my entire life.
I was entangled in what Mike Dooley calls "the cursed hows"--worrying about how it's all going to work out. How will we pay back the money, and how will I get clients, and how will I advertise.....I thought I had to figure it all out ahead of time.
What I didn't understand is that's all the stuff I can trust the Universe to handle! My only job was to take the baby step and enroll in the school. That would be my pitch to the Universe. Maybe it will end up being a home run, maybe it won't. But what it will do is line up a whole new set of circumstances, people and places that I can't even imagine right now. Things that definitely won't happen unless I just trust and take that first step.
So that's it. Tomorrow I call up IIN and enroll. Batter up!